by Von Droomer
I sit in the same spot on campus most every day I'm there, clicking away at the latest news stories, enjoying a good belly laugh at the latest meme, and altogether having a pleasant time during my daily perusal of mind-numbing internet sites.
And then the beast awakens.
Sometime, at some point and without fail, there comes the banshee shrieks of the whiny soccer mom taking too many classes, or the "I've got a suit therefore I can act like a douche" business major yammering on his cell phone, or - god forbid - the cringe-worthy comedy styling of some popped-collar frat boy trying to impress his latest victim.
Look, I get it. You're in college, and no matter what other position you find yourself in life, that simple fact makes you feel indestructible. It's a safe-haven, where the insane is expected and the art of the asshole can be perfected. We've all got our stories, right Man-who-lost-his-job-and-wife-and-kids-and-was-fisted-by-the-economic-crisis?
It doesn't matter. I still feel like jamming pencils in my ear when you burst into the door, still cursing at the one you tried first but was locked just like it has been the ENTIRE SEMESTER, panting out a conversation that they can hear in 1968, and giving ME dirty looks for staring. Yeah, that's right, I'll stare all I want. Want to keep your conversation private? Then get out of public, you [at this point I went into such a furious tirade of filth and violent anger that I took a break to have a frozen burrito. It was most satisfactory.]
My point is, at least show a little human decency and keep it in a decibel range that won't cause permanent hearing damage. Now, please excuse me while I plunge these headphones far into my ear canal and pump heavy metal into my cranium to forget what your voice sounds like.
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