Now that we've covered Satan's Asscrack, it's time to introduce you to my friendlier, older, more hospitable neighbors. Let's Mr. Rogers this shit.
1. The Bird People
In the apartment on the right lives a sweet older couple that always takes the time to greet my girlfriend and I, making little noise other than their early-morning addiction to the Lawrence Welk Show. Well, that and the occasional Jerry Springer episode they hold in their house, screaming epithets that rip through our apartment walls like they were made of string cheese.
The walls, not the insults, though I'm sure dairy-based insult comedy has its place in the world - probably some farm in Holland
However, there is more than just the grated voices of a forgotten generation living in that apartment. Imagine my surprise when I came home one day to find the nice old man walking his pet.
His pet pigeon.
Yes, it seems not all of the squawks echoing through through our walls were coming from his wife. As it turns out, they may have more than one bird, as I'm almost positive I saw a huge cockatoo in their living room as well.
It was either that or the pope.
But so be it. I'll look past the bird seed out front and the occasional screeches of a traumatized bird if it keeps scaring the demons upstairs back into their cages.
2. The D&D Guy
I'm a nerd. Now, while this may be upsetting to some of you readers, it's the truth and I don't try to hide it. I've always been socially awkward, but some of that awkwardness has subsided over the years. One of the best things I've done to address my social anxiety was to start playing Dungeons and Dragons.
But mysterious person on the internet, doesn't D&D separate you from reality, allowing you to instead live in a fantasy world of your design? Well, yes. To an extent, anyway. However, D&D has always been to me, first and foremost, a way to connect with friends.You all get together one a week or so, hang out, roll some dice and have a good time. And that role-playing part? It's not easy to let go and get into a character in front of others, believe me.
I even took it a step further and took it upon myself to be the group's main Dungeon Master, meaning it's on me to make a fun, exciting story and be able to immerse the players in it. I've been doing it for five or six years and I am just NOW getting comfortable with it. Having to interact with everyone in and out of the game is one of the DM's main responsibilities, and social skills are a vital part of that.
I tell you all of that to tell you this; the neighbor to our left lives a single, older gentleman that we saw on occasion but never thought one way or another about him. One day I was returning from the store with a few packs of Magic the Gathering cards (NERD!) and he happened to be leaving his apartment as I arrived. He saw the cards in my hand, and immediately asked if I played D&D.
I said yes without hesitation, and we began to talk about playgroups, and old campaigns, minis and everything remotely related to the game. I soon found out that he was a former employee of TSR as a graphic designer, and still made art and minis that he sold online.
Many a nerdgasm was had.
We still talk fairly often, and I know that if I ever need anything from him, he would be happy to help. He even gave me a piece of his artwork as a housewarming gift.
I don't have any jokes here, I'm just bragging at this point.
So, as you can see, not ALL of your neighbors are going to be demons sent to ruin your life. Sometimes they'll just be white and nerdy. And that's not bad at all.
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